Gather 'round, boys and girls...

and let me tell you a story about a good and proud man that lives in a land far away, a land known as New Jersey.

Now children, New Jersey is ruled by a money hungry King that our good and proud man despises, for the money hungry King forces our good and proud man to make repairs around his stately manor, so he doesn't have to pay more taxes to the money hungry King, for that angers our good and proud man to no end.

One day, our good and proud man decided that the stately manor needed a fresh coat of paint, for he knew, most importantly, it would please the good wife. So our good and proud man went to the speak with the local Paintsmith, who appraised our good and proud mans' choice of the colors, and agreed that those colors would indeed please the good wife.

After paying the Painsmith with his hard earned wages, our good and proud man gathered up his painting supplies, and bid the Paintsmith a hearty fare-thee-well.

Upon his arrival at the stately manor, our good and proud man unhitched the stately manor carriage, dispatched his mount to the pasture for some much needed rest and reprieve, and began to unload his supplies for the task ahead, knowing that when this task was completed, the good wife would present him with a feast to end all feasts.

Now, proceeding to the room wherein his work would be done, our good and proud man commenced to taking down the tapestries from the windows, moving the furniture, and laying out the tarps to protect the floors of the stately manor, he discovered, much to his horror, this:



So, the moral of this story, boys and girls is...

Well, to be honest, I can't really think of one at the moment, so just shut the hell up, turn off the lights, and go to bed, ya little brats.