A Recent Trip To...

a major car rental agency to drop my friend so he could get his rental car.

Agent (in a lispy voice): "Hi, welcome to '________', how can I help you?"

My Friend: "Hi, I'm here to pick up my rental, my name is '________________'."

Agent: "OK, let me look you up...here you are. We have the (insert make/model here) economy car for you. It gets great gas mileage and is great for environment!"

Me: Looks at agent, rolls eyes.

Agent: Sees me rolling eyes...gives a patronizing, dismissive look.

Agent: "So, Mr. '_____________', I see you are traveling to '________', Iowa. I really miss Iowa, it is becoming such a progressive state don't you think, not like here in Nebraska."

Me: audibly mutters under breath...'Ohh, geez, like that's a good thing?"

Agent: Gives dismissive look at me again, turns to my friend.

My Friend: "Ummm...I reserved the SUV, not the (insert make/model here) economy car."

Agent: "Well, according to my records, Mr. '___________', it says here you reserved..."

My Friend: "No, I didn't reserve that, I reserved the SUV, and I have a disabled veteran discount...here is my reservation print out."

Agent: "Oh, ummm..."

Me: Thinking...'Way to go, Eco-Boy.'

Agent: "Let me check our records, and..."

Me: "So, which SUV is the one my friend will be driving, what is the discount, and the total price? He has to get back home, and I don't have time for this..."

Agent: "It's the blue one, with..."

Me: "oh, you mean the only SUV in the lot?"

Agent: "Yes, it is the..."

My Friend: (to the Agent) "I think we can figure out which one it is."

Agent: Completes transaction, gives my friend the keys...looks at me with that typical liberal look of disdain...

Me: "Have a nice day, pal!"