Sadness And Joy...'also known as'...Mixed Emotions...

As my casual readers are aware, my room-mate, of many years is embarking on a new journey in her life, one that will take her many hundreds of miles away.

I cannot blame her leaving for something she has always desired...leaving Nebraska, going to live in the 'big city', and experiencing that which she has never experienced on a daily basis.

I will not begrudge her for this, because at the age of 18, I left home for the United States Navy, and never really looked back.

But, back to the point of my missive...

As the day of her impending departure approaches, I am filled with an emotion that I normally do not display...namely...tears. It is difficult to describe my emotions, my emotions of both sadness and joy, for she has been more then just a room-mate...she has been a confident, a best friend, one who I have shared my most intimate fears with...my most intimate failings with...my most intimate joys.

I have been with her through thick and thin...as a friend should be...offering her advice (even if she didn't want to hear it) about what ever was bothering her at the minute. And despite our occasional "hissy fits" with each other over the years, we always bounced back to normalcy, relying on the support of each other.

Well, the day has arrived...October 4, 2008, 6:33 am. I can hear her in the kitchen, pouring her cup of coffee (2 spoons of raw, unwashed sugar and a dash or 2 of creamer), trying to be quiet, but try as she will, I know she is there, for the tell tale scampering of her dog, Shilo, alerts me to the fact she is awake.

Shilo:



Shilo, as is her want, comes into my bedroom, and jumps on the edge of the bed, alerting me to the fact she is awake...her eyes pleading with me to give her a treat, although she knows she does not get a treat until she goes either 'pottie' or 'poop.' (the treat she receives depends on what she does!)

I get up, and go into the kitchen, and give Shilo a treat...a 'pottie' or 'poop' treat is irrelevant at this point, for I know this will be the last time I see her for a long time, so why not spoil her...

7:15 am...my room-mate and her boyfriend are packing up the incidentals, making sure the trailer is hitched correctly, and ensuring that all the trailer lights work. I move my car to avoid any 'dings.'

7:35 am...the time is near for her departure...I promise myself I will not cry...have to show I am strong...

She comes upstairs...and I meet her in the kitchen...we both attempt to say perfunctory 'Good Byes'...but alas, our emotions will not allow us...we embrace each other...

We walk out into the living room...we embrace once again, and tell each other words I would rather keep private...she tells Shilo to say good bye to me, but Shilo being Shilo, she is more interested in the fact she has her leash on her, which means a ride in the Jeep...

I walk my room-mate to the front door, and stand on the porch.

And she is gone...